On social relations in the vintage dancing world.

[regfoghorn]

Given what has been posted about behavior in the vintage dance world, where I am a sort of wallflower, I'm worried about future interactions with anyone under the age of 50, as I don't want to come off or be seen as potentially harmful to young people.

As a person of large stature, this is something that I've worried about for years. The world automatically assumes that large guys are socially unacceptable and dangerous. It probably dates back generations - before movie star Fatty Arbuckle, possibly back to King Henry VIII.

I am not harmful, nor do I intend harm. I may flirt, but I'm not very good at it, so I more or less limit myself to complimenting someone on their outfit or hairstyle.

So to the world at large: Please do not take offense at what I do. Call me on it, you will receive an apology and I will endeavor to change how I interact with you. Parents, do not be afraid of me for your children's sake - I have taken care of small children and acted in loco parentis, and I would never hurt them.

Thanks for reading.

Comments

[edge-of-within.livejournal.com]

I understand what warranted your post, and it disturbs me. This has gone too far.

[terpsichoros.livejournal.com]

At least part of the problem is that you are the victim of a double standard. If someone a young woman finds unattractive flirts with her, he's creepy. If someone the young woman finds attractive flirts with her, it's ok.

Just for the record...

[purchasemonkey.livejournal.com]

...I have no idea what you're talking about and certainly have never seen or heard of an incident where you behaved inappropriately to a young person.

I really didn't have any one person in mind when I wrote my particular screed, and certainly not you, who, to the best of my knowledge, are a nice fellow who tries to help out and be responsible.

[fools-and-irish.livejournal.com]

There are people in the dance community who may be problematic in their behavior towards the opposite gender. I have never seen, never heard, anything from or about you that would place you anywhere near that category.

If you're awkward at times, that doesn't make you any different from the rest of us. All of us have our moments of less-than-grace. That's a WORLD away from being predatory, which I think is the issue of concern.